If you ever wanted to see Mark Wahlberg play Lydia Tár, your time is now. — Here’s something I’ve learned, over the years: It’s important to have love in your life, but it’s equally important to find people who know how to love you. For instance, I was really stressed out last week. I’d agreed to meet a lot of deadlines at once, and one project…

Jezebel’s closing isn’t the end of an era — it’s a reminder that the era has been over for a long time. — When I was a teenager, the universally acknowledged center of culture in Columbus, Ohio was an all-night coffee shop named Insomnia. It was filthy, and the bathrooms never worked, and the coffee was barely serviceable. Nonetheless, anyone who was vaguely “alternative” wound up at Insomnia, the same way every terrible…

Being an attempt to grapple with trans community dynamics and trans guys who yell at women. A very long attempt. You were warned. — When I was first coming out, I wanted, more than anything, to know other transmasculine people. This was a matter of survival — I was facing a new set of obstacles, and I needed guidance from other people who had faced them. It was also just a human need for…

What it’s like to live through a six-month winter, and what it can teach you about… I don’t know, life and stuff? I’m cold. — Winter in upstate New York always lasts just long enough to make you sure that spring will never actually happen ever again. Before I moved here, back in 2018, I Googled “weather” and learned that it typically snows from late October through April, sometimes the beginning of May — at…

War, early mornings, and the poetry of Jane Hirshfield. — I blame my mother for it, the morning-routine thing. When I was young, she got up every day before dawn to pray. I was never quite clear on everything she did, but it was elaborate; she said her prayers, she did some devotional reading, she lit candles, one for each…

A seasonal inquiry. — Sometimes, as a journalist, you get a chance to cover a story that really matters. Whether by luck or chance or sheer hard work, you get your hands on a truth the public needs to know, and you follow it until you can bring back treasure. You serve the public…

Some sad news, and a goodbye post, several weeks in advance of the actual goodbye. — I’m writing this on a plane crossing the Atlantic Ocean. I’m in the dead center of the cabin — no windows or aisles on either side, only people — but if I could see out the window, I know I would see only ocean and only sky. …

A travel announcement which may mean my own untimely demise. — I am not a traveler. Before this week, I had left the coastal United States exactly once: I went to Toronto, which is a two-hour flight away, and I was only there long enough to walk around the block, give a speech, and order one very exotic Canadian coffee. This…

I’m on a lot of ketamine right now. — 2024 will be a critical election for trans people. Republicans are still campaigning on anti-trans bills despite disappointing results in the midterms. The leading contenders for the Republican nomination are Donald Trump — whose shortcomings are, uh, well known — and Ron DeSantis, whose animus toward trans and queer people…