God Save Us From the Sexy Catholics

White supremacy, but make it Goth.

“If I just keep my head down and look like I’m praying, maybe that Red Scare girl will leave me alone.” Photo by Isabella and Zsa Fischer on Unsplash

Is conservatism cool now? This question, posed by countless tattooed youth pastors and/or episodes of Family Ties, is one we never tire of asking. The latest example, smeared all over my Twitter dashboard, is an article in the New York Times — somehow not the only article of its kind, or even the only article in the Times itself — about how the downtown scene kids of “Dimes Square” are all converting to Catholicism.

“Reactionary motifs are chic,” writes Julia Yost. “Trump hats and ‘tradwife’ frocks, monarchist and anti-feminist sentiments.” Catholicism, for these types, has become the spiritual equivalent of a prairie dress, a way to combine the aesthetics and values of 200 years ago with the debilitating cocaine addictions of today.

I can’t stress enough how insufferable these kids are. One star, showcased in both the Times piece and a recent Vanity Fair article, is Honor Levy. A quick Google will show you the twenty-something Bennington grad — raised in Silverlake, daughter of a makeup artist and movie director — diving into AAVE like a four-year-old encountering a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit. (“Everyone was like: ‘Yo that’s fire, that’s fire.’ It so isn’t fire.”) Elsewhere, there is a short story, “Cancel Me,” in which Levy reflects at length on cancel culture, and also on…