I Can’t Believe It’s Not Twitter!

Bluesky and Mastodon are both “Twitter alternatives.” Which one should you use?

Jude Ellison S. Doyle
7 min readMay 17, 2023

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Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

In the months since Elon Musk took over Twitter, I — like everyone else — have been on the lookout for a Twitter replacement. Why I would do this to myself, I don’t know; my experience with the original Twitter was not a good one. Death threats, rape threats, stalkers, main-character incidents; you name a way Twitter can make someone’s life worse, and I experienced it, probably more than once.

Looking for a “new Twitter,” under the circumstances, feels like a gunshot victim looking for a “new bullet.” Nonetheless, here I am, signed up to a half-dozen apps and websites I hardly use. After months of scrambling, only two sites seem poised to take the “new Twitter” crown: Mastodon, the longest-standing Twitter alternative, and Bluesky, still in beta, which blew up in the past month.

I post on both Mastodon and Bluesky, and in my experience, both are successful for good reason. They’re just successful for very different reasons, and will likely appeal to very different sets of people. Here, before you start one more account you’re never going to check in on, I will attempt to help you figure out which sort of person you are.

Mastodon: Earnest, Wholesome, Boring

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Jude Ellison S. Doyle

Author of “Trainwreck” (Melville House, ‘16) and “Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers” (Melville House, ‘19). Columns published far and wide across the Internet.