I Refuse to “Cancel” My Friend Simply Because He Hates Transgender People And Also Burned Down An Arby’s

Let’s have some compassion for the real victims — comedians who sometimes get criticized online.

An unrelated photograph. Photo by Jamie Lamor Thompson on Shutterstock.

Hello! It’s me, your favorite affable, unthreatening white male comedian. You may remember me from such bits as “Star Wars — Wow,” “White Male Nerds (are Victims),” and “The Comedy Special Where I Say ‘Tranny’ A Lot While Complaining About Wokeness.” I’d prefer it if you didn’t remember that last bit, but if you do, please try to remember that special was filmed in a different era (2016).

Anyway! I guess it’s come out that I’m friends with someone who hates trans people. Crazy, right? Couldn’t have seen that coming. Also, in an unrelated coincidence, my friend turns out to be the arsonist who recently burned down the Arby’s on I-95, killing six people.

Now, knowing this, some of my fans may question our friendship. Yes, of course, I’m an LGBTQ+ ally. Yes, obviously, his beliefs in regard to transgender people and/or burning a half-dozen innocent restaurant workers to death are abhorrent. But, on the other hand, I really enjoy hanging out with him. And, until he got accused of killing all those people, I didn’t get in trouble for that, so I assumed it was no big…