Men Can Be Single Without Murdering Anybody

It’s not even hard. So to speak.

Jude Ellison S. Doyle

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A really pretty terrifying bunny next to a sign that reads “NO SEXUAL SERVICES.”
OK, who tried to fuck the rabbit? Photo by Dalelan Anderson on Unsplash

Friends, Romans, countrythems: They told me I would never make it. My ambitions were mocked; scorned; they laughed at me, and they laughed at you for believing in me. Yet I stand before you today as one of the most sex-having men in the United States of America. Do you doubt me? Behold the chart!!!!

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Jude Ellison S. Doyle

Author of “Trainwreck” (Melville House, ‘16) and “Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers” (Melville House, ‘19). Columns published far and wide across the Internet.