Member-only story
Welcome to GregNet, the Website Where It’s OK to Hate Greg
For too long, my neighbor Greg has denied me a reasonable debate about his existence. Now he will pay.
It’s happened to all of us: You’re engaging in a reasoned exchange of ideas, debating philosophical matters in the public square like the Greeks of old, when suddenly, you bring up Greg, and everybody panics.
Who’s Greg? He’s my neighbor. You’ve seen him — four doors down, sort of medium-tall, wears shirts? No? Well, it’s not important right now. Anyway:
There you are, simply enjoying your God-given Constitutional right to express yourself, making all sorts of reasoned abstract points, such as “is Greg even a person” and “I don’t like it when Greg shows up in stores or restaurants” or possibly “why is it legal for Greg to use the same post office that the rest of us do,” and people start freaking out, shutting you down, declaring that the matter of Greg is already settled. Their minds are so indoctrinated by the powerful Greg lobby that they honestly believe there’s no more room for inquiry in the Greg space.
I believe there is. I believe that one useful inquiry in the Greg space would be “why don’t we kill Greg.” But you just try bringing that up, some time, and see how far you get. Political…
